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"Rancho Costa Nada: The Dirt Cheap Desert Homestead,"
by Phil Garlington. Loompanics, 2003, 122 pages.
Living on the Fringe by R.W. Bradford
The first time I visited the Mojave Desert, I came upon a
small abandoned town, found a bit of shade, stopped my car, and started to make a
sandwich. It was an edifying experience: by the time I had slapped my food
together, the bread had dried to the point where the thing was only marginally
edible.
| | R.W.
Bradford is editor and publisher of Liberty.
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I had read about how hot and dry the Mojave is. During my childhood in
Michigan I had experienced occasional summer temperatures as hot as the Mojave
was that day. But I hadn't imagined just how dry it is. Nor, for that matter, had
I really appreciated just how hellishly brilliant the Mojave can be wherever the
shade gives out. And there isn't much shade: except in the lee of an occasional
abandoned building, there's practically no vegetation and what little exists is
small. There's little wonder that practically no one lives in the
scorching ultra-dry southern Californian desert except in tiny artificial oases
like Blythe and Needles, where water and electricity are available. But some
people do live elsewhere in that immense and wonderful and terrifying
place, and if you look closely, you'll see signs of them: tire tracks heading off
the roads which, if you follow, lead to weird-looking shacks showing signs of
habitation. Of course, most of us don't see these signs. We simply cross
the desert on modern expressways, and in a few hours, we're through it, unless we
get adventurous and take an occasional side road, or, feeling especially
adventurous, venture a ways off road in our air-conditioned SUVs. The same
is true of the less scorching deserts of Nevada and Oregon, where wild
temperature swings and extreme cold make conditions for human life as
inhospitable as they are in the Mojave and Colorado deserts to the
south. |
| Some people do live
elsewhere in that immense and wonderful and terrifying place, and if you look
closely, you'll see signs of them. |
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While I've probably seen more than most "normal" folk of the very marginal
lives of people clinging to the fringes of civilization, I realize that I really
know virtually nothing about them. I've driven the desert tracks and seen their
shacks in the distance. But I have never approached them or their habitations. I
respect their privacy, I tell myself. And besides, I am a little afraid of them:
there's a good chance they came out here because they found it difficult to
function in ordinary society and, well, they might just take a shot at me. That,
at least, is what I imagine. So when a copy of "Rancho Costa Nada: The
Dirt Cheap Desert Homestead" crossed my path, I was interested. Its cover
features a photograph of one of those desert shacks, up close and personal.
Constructed, it appears, of salvaged scrap wood, it has a hand-lettered sign
warning "Occupied Home: Careful Pard." It looks a lot like how I imagined the
shacks I had seen only at a distance must look up close. The actual image was
intense. Here, I thought, is a book that will give me an idea of how
people live in roasting land that no one wants, without the benefit of such
trivial conveniences as electricity, plumbing and water, at least in the sense
that we know them. And I was right. "Rancho Costa Nada" is about equal
parts memoir and handbook. Its author, Phil Garlington, is one of those people
who have trouble getting along with others. He moved to the desert after being
fired from a long series of jobs ("My deportment irks employers. I guess it's a
kind of hauteur. Kind of cocky, supercilious, cheek, insolence, or an overweening
and querulous hubris.") A few years earlier, while working as a reporter for the
Orange County Register, he had attended a public auction of land whose owners
failed to pay taxes. On a lark, he bought himself ten acres of "alluvial wash
dotted with smoke tree, Palo Verde, barrel cactus and scrub" in the Colorado
desert. The price was $325. "My deed says ten acres. It might well be 1,000. I
have no cheek-by-jowl neighbors, and three miles to the nearest. [I live] in a
lonely, out-of-the-way valley surrounded by hundreds of square miles of bone-dry
landscape. The inhabitants are a handful of seldom-seen desert rats and
homesteaders, their presence only revealed by a faraway triangular column of dust
thrown up by their rattle-trap pickups." After locating his estate with a
cheap GPS device, Garlington and his buddies pitched their tents and used the
land for "drinking, shooting, and rocketry." They quickly discovered that tents
were not a practical shelter in a place with so much wind. So they built a long
table for bench shooting and a shade shack, closed to the wind and sun on three
sides. To this he added a "bum box" for sleeping: "a plywood box 8' long by 4'
high, raised on stilts, open on the eastern side . . . It had a curtain like a
berth in a Pullman . . . Snakes and scorpions couldn't get you, and the bum box
offered protection against the desert gusts." So when Garlington lost his
job, he decided to move to his desert property, which by now was "basically a
shooting gallery, empty brass glittering in the sun, with a couple of rude sheds
for shade. Not promising, perhaps, but it was my land, bought and paid for."
| I am a little afraid of
them: there's a good chance they came out here because they found it difficult to
function in ordinary society and, well, they might just take a shot at me.
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There he set about living by his own "rock-bound principles": "Find a stretch
of the world filled with worthless desert. Pay a rock-bottom price for a piece of
it. Then build a tight little nature-proof and comfortable homestead that's
cheap, simple, and easy, in a couple of weeks or a month. Plant the proud banner
of personal independence, and uncap a beer." "Rancho Costa Nada" is an
account of how Garlington implemented these principles. He tells how he
constructed a more elaborate hogan from salvaged and improvised materials, how he
dealt with the problems of water and power, and how he dealt with the problem of
his outhouse blowing down in a storm. (The solution involved taking a walk in the
desert away from his hogan and kicking a hole in the ground.) Living on the
fringe of civilization requires earning a few hundred dollars a year for
incidentals like food and water, so he tells how he found occasional casual labor
to fill his need for cash. Because "Rancho" is billed as a "how-to" book,
Garlington provides a lot of specific information, including detailed advice
regarding technologies he considers inappropriate (e.g. trailers), too
complicated for him to attempt, or attempted with only limited success, like
making a swamp cooler from salvaged auto parts. How did he deal with
building permits and codes? "I'm in denial on code," he writes. "I don't believe
for one second that a building inspector a sleek, pampered bureaucrat
working for the county will put himself to the bother of driving 17 miles
on backbreaking washboard to see what some disgruntled, and perhaps demented and
heavily-armed hermit is doing out in the middle of God-forsaken nowhere." This
approach seems to have worked. Unlike Garlington, who spends his summers
in public campgrounds in the Pacific Northwest, his neighbors ("the Hobo, the
Demented Vet, Baby Huey, Mystery Woman, and Alba the Dog Lady") live in the
desert year-round. They are colorful, to say the least. In some ways, they
adapted better than Garlington, but they seem a little crazier, too a fact
that might not be unrelated to their year-round tenure. "Rancho" is
addressed to people who harbor fantasies about going to the desert and living as
a hermit, fantasies that many libertarians latch onto at some point in their
lives. For the reader who has no such daydreams, or has outgrown them, it offers
a colorful memoir of someone who found a way to live on that eerie planet that we
call "desert" and a vivid portrait of other humans who have found themselves
still more at home on terra extraterrestris. Garlington concludes
with a chapter that puts forward perhaps his most sage advice: "Don't Do It," in
which he reminds those with fantasies about getting away from civilization and
living an isolated, nearly self-sufficient, life that they just may "start
sounding like the Demented Vet."
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