Elizabeth Warren’s Comedy Act

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I thought that American politics couldn’t get any funnier, but of course I was wrong. And right now, the funniest politician is actually the sour, self-righteous Elizabeth Warren.

Long ridiculed by President Trump, and millions of other people, for claiming to be an American Indian, Warren has now triumphantly released a study of her DNA. According to the Stanford professor who analyzed the data, “the facts suggest that [she] absolutely [has] Native American ancestry in [her] pedigree.”

Warren could have as much as 1/64th Indian ancestry. So just make that cup 1/64th full.

“Pedigree”? Oh well. But the unwary reader may conclude, as Warren appears to have concluded, that her Native American “heritage” has now been authenticated. But that’s ridiculous — for two reasons.

One is that the purported percentage of her Indian ancestry is a whopping 1/1024th. That’s right — one part in a thousand.

“Would you like a cup of coffee?”

“Yes, please!”

“Fill it up?”

“Not quite. Just make it 1/1024th full.”

All right, I distorted the hard, scientific “data.” Warren could have as much as 1/64th Indian ancestry. So just make that cup 1/64th full.

Even the TV actors who burble about “discovering their Swedish heritage” by taking a DNA test and learning that they’re 40% Swedish aren’t as absurd as this US Senator.

The second ridiculosity is the whole notion of “heritage” based on genes. Culture has nothing to do with your body. But suppose it did. If you need to have your DNA analyzed to find out whether you’ve inherited some cultural characteristic, then you haven’t.

Even the TV actors who burble about “discovering their Swedish heritage” by taking a DNA test and learning that they’re 40% Swedish aren’t as absurd as this US Senator. But given her total lack of self-awareness (which is nothing unusual, given her occupation), I suppose it won’t take her long to appear on television to inform the other hundred million Americans who are at least 1/1000th Indian that now, because of the wonders of science, they too can discover who they really are — and prove it, by ending their long night of discrimination and electing one of their own (guess who?) as president.

We are all Indians now.




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Comments

Scott Robinson

It is interesting that now Elizabeth Warren has released her ad touting her genetic test revealing that she does have a Native American ancestor from either 6 or 8 generations ago. I know that now, a lot of the debate is how much Native American DNA she has and if that's equivalent to her being, "The first law professor of color". While it is fun to split hairs about how much genes define membership in a race, I think that it is more important to know what's wrong with racism. We should judge others by the content of the character, not the color of their skin or the genes found in their DNA. What this means is that "the content of their character" is not defined by their skin color or genetics. There are good, bad, and ugly individuals in every race.

Scott

P.S. For the comedy, I'm African American because I'm a descendant of Lucy, that oldest human relative, Australopithicus africanus, discovered in Africa.

Robert K Stock

Comedy act my ass. Would you want your 10th Great Grandchildren to deny that you once existed? Senator Warren is not trying to claim tribal citizenship. She is not looking for advancement by affirmative action. She is not seeking a share of casino money. She is definitely not claiming cultural characteristics. Senator Warren is proud of her ancestry and proud that a piece of family lore has been proven true. Senator Warren has a large group of European ancestors and a much smaller number of Native American ancestors. They all contributed to Senator Warren's genetic make up.

I have had my DNA tested. It disproved some cherished family stories. And it brought some pleasant surprises. I am sad to say that my family has no Native American heritage as we long thought. However, I did learn that we have Irish ancestors. I had no clue. I can't wait for the next St. Patrick's Day!

Geezer

    She is not looking for advancement by affirmative action.

I guess that depends upon what is meant by "affirmative action."

Robert K Stock

The Boston Globe looked at hundreds of documents and spoke with 52 law professors who worked with Senator Warren. The Globe found no evidence that ethnicity was ever considered for any job obtained by Senator Warren. The Globe reported that Senator Warren was always considered a white woman by her employers and nothing else.

Geezer

    Senator Warren was always considered a white woman by her employers and nothing else.

Never a "woman of color"? See also the White Queen (who could believe "six impossible things before breakfast").

Robert K Stock

I accept the research of the Boston Globe and think that the article "A Woman of Color" in the National Review is mistaken.

Geezer

Prefer the Boston Globe? Try this. (I found the link in the National Review article I cited.)

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