Somebody’s Gonna Win

Our cleaning lady was smiling widely as she polished our dining room table. She was in such a good mood she didn’t drop or break a single goblet or plate on the granite kitchen counter — as was her custom, usually two a visit.

Had she finally found her Prince Charming? I impulsively asked Betty, let’s call her, “Why so happy?”

“I’m gonna win the Tennessee State Lottery,” she giggled, then uttered the declaration immortalized by losers: “Somebody’s gonna win — might as well be me.” The booty amounted to hundreds of millions, because counter to the mantra, nobody had won for eons. Today they’d pluck the lucky number out of a barrel. And Betty had 25 tickets. How could she lose? They only sold 100,000 or so.

Lotteries? A verification of Bastiat’s contention that the state’s one form of expertise is “plunder.” Whatta racket! Of course, you’ll find better odds at your local racetrack or casino. And to heighten the state’s hypocrisy: gambling is illegal in your own home. The letter of the law says you and your Wednesday night poker club can end up in jail, subsisting on grits and bread crusts.

It wouldn’t grate so badly on my sense of justice if the state solicited gambling gangs in a formal competition in which the main variable was payout vs. ticket income. As an 87% libertarian, I believe people should be allowed financial ruin if they so desire.

But it should not be sponsored by the same state that prohibits gambling. It prohibits theft, too, of course, but its main source of revenue is taxes — a euphanism for theft. Theft is theft, so what if they patch my street with tar every three years? They provide schools, too, but the real value of roads and schools and such services never quite equals the take from taxes. And you can’t sell hooch, either, but the state can.

By the way, I’m quite proud that my state, Alabama, amid flagrant corruption from the gambling lobby, rejected a lottery. It’s Tennessee that caved in. Coincidentally, the purchase of mansions, yachts, barrels of caviar, and Rolexes by state legislators skyrocketed. Supply and demand, you know. I’m waiting for the states to open up a string of escort services. Quite legal, if run by the state.