Government Cloaca

Discussion of bipartisan- ship always puts me in mind of sewage and the Grand River in west Michigan.

For many years, storm water drain pipes in Grand Rapids were routed through the city’s sewage treatment plant, and every time it rained heavily millions of gallons of sewage would overflow into the Grand River. A few hours later, the good burghers of Ottawa County, 30 miles downstream, surveyed floating bits of red, white, and blue, mostly toilet paper and candy flavored condoms.

The Democratic politicians in Grand Rapids had long since spent all of the city’s money hiring an extra thousand of their supporters whom private industry would not hire, so they couldn’t pay to fix the problem. The Republicans in Ottawa County were especially infuriated when it was pro- posed that they should spend their money to fix the problems of their upstream tormentor. During really heavy rains, the problem still occurs.

Here bipartisanship provides a solution. The Democrats in Grand Rapids should pass a law forbidding the flushing of toilets during rain storms. And the politicians in Grand Haven should convince their citizens that the floating red, white, and blue in the river are post-it notes warning against swimming.

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