Give Generously, or We’ll Kill This Dog

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A few months ago I received a curious letter. I put it with some other junk mail and just recently had the chance to go through the pile and open it. To my surprise, it was Charles Schumer writing me on behalf of the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, to tell me that he needed my help to stop the Republican Party — to stop “the party of NO.” How about that!

To convince me of the need to act, and to buoy my confidence in the party’s abilities, Schumer listed the Democrats’ “accomplishments” since Obama’s election. They “rescued our economy from the brink of collapse,” they “continue to work to achieve a sustained and substantial recovery,” they “took on the monumental challenge of fighting for meaningful healthcare reform,” and they enacted important antitobacco legislation. Important, indeed!

Also included was a bullet-point list of “why [my] support for the DSCC matters NOW.” Here are a few tidbits: the Supreme Court removed the spending cap for corporations’ campaign contributions, the DSCC is the only organization dedicated to protecting and expanding the Democrats’ Senate majority, and — most critical of all — “the Tea Parties have shown they can raise over a million dollars in under one day, and now they’ve established a tax-exempt 501(c)(4) to funnel campaign cash to hyper-conservative candidates across the country.” Gasp!

Finally, they assure me, while Republicans focus on causing Obama to fail, Democratic senators are working with him. Still, they need contributions ranging from $15 to $1,000 — they kindly placed a star next to the $35 level — to meet their $767,000 goal.

Stopping the party of No — interesting. But I’m a libertarian. The Republicans are not saying “No” often enough for my taste. I’d rather stop the party of “yes, we can.” And, although it is probably an exaggeration, if the Tea Parties have raised that much money, I’m ecstatic!

Besides, how dare Democrats ask more money of me or any other “fellow American” to whom they addressed these letters? They’ve wasted more taxpayer money since the 2008 election than any sitting government ever wasted in a similar period of time.

I know that Schumer was not inspired to write me because

he read my Reflections in Liberty. Not at all. I’ll tell you why I got his letter, though I am loathe to admit it. . . . I subscribe to The Atlantic and (shame!) that pretentious, highbrow tabloid Vanity Fair. So, whatever marketing company the Democrats employ for mass support mailings naturally assumed that I’d be “one of them” and receptive to such a plea — though I think they would be hard-pressed to find a household less receptive to their hysterical overtures than mine.

All this is good news, however. Because if the Democrats are so worried, and if this is how they are going about seeking popular and financial support, November 2010 is looking better than ever.

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